


Home Again

by Baamon5evr



Series: 14 Days of Samsteve [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Luke Cage (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Background/Cameo Characters, Getting Together, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, mentions of police brutality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 11:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9382826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baamon5evr/pseuds/Baamon5evr
Summary: Sam returns to Harlem after an extended time away and meets Steve, forcing him to confront his past and the changes that happened in his absence, both the good and the bad.





	

It was with wonder that Sam walked around his old neighborhood in Harlem. Physically it'd been three years since he was last home but it had been eight years since he was mentally whole enough to be here. That had been just before he enlisted but that wasn't what kept him away. The last three years he'd been living in DC with his fiancé Everett but after what Sam had taken to calling The Incident, he decided to take his mother up on her demands veiled as suggestions of moving closer to her. The lease on his apartment was due to expire anyway so why not find a place in Harlem? He could be close to his immediate family that way. Still, he refused to move in with his mother. He managed to find a two-bedroom apartment that was a 25-minute drive away from her and he had already been transferred to a VA center in Brooklyn.

Harlem was different than he remembered. Some of the stores he remembered had been shut down and replaced with vegan pastry shops or a Whole Foods or some other organic/gluten-free oriented place. Which in and of itself wasn't so bad he supposed but there were the prices and the knowledge that a lot people he knew growing up were out of business because of this. There was a hell of a lot more White people than he remembered but none of the differences dampened the happiness he felt being back. Honestly, his heart was set on seeing one place. His father had opened the Othello Wilson Community Center back when Sam was just 10 years old. Named after his grandfather, Paul Wilson offered the center as a place where kids could find an outlet that didn't involve gangbanging or drug slinging. It hadn't been enough to save his father but Sam had stopped being angry about that years ago.

He smiled as he came upon the center. The bricks outside looked like they were recently touched up giving the place a fresh look. Walking inside it was just as he remembered. There was a picture of his grandparents hung up on the wall just at the entrance and there was a portrait of his father beside it. Further past the entrance was the reception desk. As always there was a board with fliers of the events and different free classes conducted at the center pinned to it. However, there were paintings hung on each wall that hadn't been there three years ago. They were all different. One looked to be a charcoal sketch that featured the Apollo as the focal point with two roads branching off past it, one was Harlem in present day, the other was the Harlem of the past, probably in the Harlem Renaissance era if he had to the guess. One wall featured a watercolor painting of multicolored stars falling from the sky with three young children, two Black boys and a Latina girl, looking up with shocked joy, their emotions practically jumping off the canvas. The third one was an oil painting of two elderly women. They were holding a younger woman up, supporting her weight, and holding her hands up to the sky. The sun beat down on them like rays from heaven glistening against the tears that was rolling down the young woman's tawny cheek. One of the older women was whispering in her ear and it was almost like Sam could hear her, like he knew what she was saying. It brought forth visceral emotions that choked him up. He might've cried looking at it if a voice hadn't interrupted him.

"Do my eyes deceive me? That can't possibly be Sam Wilson." Sam turned with a smile to see Leila standing there with Riley right beside her. They were both smiling at him too.

"You mean the same Sam Wilson who decided he was too good for little old New York? Nah, can't be him. He's lost to us forever." Riley replied, shaking his head.

"I went to DC, not Mars." Sam protested.

"Might as well have."

"You can wake up, drive there and drive back in under a day."

"Which means there's no excuse for you not visiting more often." Leila chastised him.

"What's your excuses then?"

"Hey, we're talking about you, not us." The three stared each other down silently for a long while.

"I don't know what's happening with us right now but if we started having sex right here, I wouldn't be surprised." Riley said, breaking the moment.

"It was always going to happen." Sam deadpanned.

"I'd just be surprised it took us this long." Leila added. The three managed to hold the facade for a moment longer before all three of them busted out laughing.

“Aww Sammy, we missed you so much.” Leila said, pulling him into a hug while Riley squished himself against Sam's back.

"I missed you guys too. I shouldn't have stayed away for so long, even with Everett in the picture."

"That asshole, I knew he wasn't—"

"Let's just not talk about him or The Incident. What about you guys and this place? I wanna know about that." Leila and Riley suddenly looked nervously at each other.

"What?" Sam asked them.

"Nothing, it's nothing." Riley said shrugging casually but he rubbed his bad leg whenever he lied and Leila's smooth brown skin wasn't dark enough to hide her blush. Sam narrowed his eyes at the two of them. He'd only ever seen them like this if they were... and they both were...

"You guys are sleeping together!" Sam exclaimed at the two of them.

"We are not!" Riley protested. Sam watched his hand rub insistently at his bad leg and rose his eyebrow at him.

"I thought you said you were working on that habit of yours." Leila said, giving up on lying.

"I'll do that as soon as you work on your blushing thing." Riley replied.

"When did this happen?" Sam asked.

"A few months ago. It was pretty much right after The Incident and we knew you were struggling with it and we didn't want to make you feel bad or anything so we just kinda... kept it to ourselves." Leila explained. Sam nodded in understanding, he had been in a bad way after The Incident. He didn't get out of bed for days or answer anyone’s calls or questions for two weeks.

"Are you mad at us?" Riley asked.

"Why would I be mad at you guys? If you're happy, I'm happy." The two smiled widely at him before Leila started hopping in place.

"Oh, wait until I give you the grand tour. We've added so many great new programs, especially music and art ones and we've got new volunteers. I personally think you'll really like them." Leila said with an impish smile. Sam knew exactly what she was thinking.

"No. You are not setting me up with anyone."

"What? Everett's old news. I would say you need a rebound but you don't do rebounds so you need a new squeeze and I have a shortlist of people who I think would be suitable for the position."

"The position? It's my love life, not an office gig and I already told you no so don't push it." Leila pouted and Riley leaned into nuzzle his nose at her cheek causing her to smile. It would be weird to see them like this if they hadn't always been an affectionate bunch. They had all grown up in Harlem together. Riley had been an enigma back then, a white boy living in Harlem in the 80s. Leila was less so but she was often mistaken for being Latina even though she's of Polynesian descent. When they hit their 20s they separated for a while, Leila went to college and Sam and Riley enlisted. Riley was honorably discharged after sustaining a leg injury and Sam came home a few months after. During the worst of his PTSD he pushed a lot of people away but somehow Leila and Riley managed to weasel their way past his defenses. They were always there.

"Come on. We'll give you the tour."

They took him through the halls and let him peek through the windows at some of the classes that were already in session.

"Is that Misty?"

"Yup, we partnered with the 5-0 and we have Misty here teaching kids about their civil rights every week. She coaches basketball too. Claire Temple's a nurse now, she does CPR and first aid classes. Luke Cage, remember him from varsity wrestling in high school? Well, he does self-defense courses along with Colleen Wing. Helen Cho's a scientist. She immigrated here from Seoul. She comes in every two weeks to do experiments with the kids. You know, nurture their academic sides. Your mom and Faith Bradley come at least once a month to take the kids out on trips to museums and zoos and places like that. Riley's been helping with fitness and swimming; it helps the kids that are in PT a lot. We've got Danny Rand doing cooking classes and the Monicas do music classes. Monica Lynne focuses on singing while Monica Rambeau is more about instrumentals. Lynne's husband is this rich diplomat or monarch or something, she never tells us straight out, but he made a sizable donation to us so we could afford to get our kids their own instruments. You don't know the Monicas, Danny or Helen but we'll introduce them next time they're here. I'm pretty sure you don't know Carol, Steve, Natasha or Bucky either. Bucky and Nat head up our new ROTC program and Steve and Carol do art. They're not from around here." Leila said. She was about to continue when a voice interrupted them.

"They really aren't. They stick out like sore thumbs." Sam turned around to see a blonde man (boy? No, he was a man) walking up to them. He was on the shorter side, probably about 5'4, and alarmingly skinny. He had a pale pallor about him but he wore a wide smile on his face that offset the fragile nature of his physical presence. His chin was tilted up slightly in what looked like an act of defiance but he never dropped it so maybe it was just a permanent thing with him.

"You more so than the rest. Sam, this is Steve Rogers. Steve, meet Sam Wilson. It's his family's name on this building." Leila said with a strange smile. It bothered Sam but he didn't have time to investigate it because Steve was shaking his hand and smiling even brighter and his hand was cold which should bother him but it didn't and Sam was sure he was staring.

"Nice to meet ya. Sorry for invading your space like this. 'Tween you and me, I think I only got in here cause of affirmative action." Sam wasn't sure if it was the joke or the thick, comical Brooklyn accent he put on to say it but he couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm just sad I don't get to be the token white guy anymore. It was nice while it lasted." Riley said, tilting his head down in mock sadness.

"Ooh, look at the time. There's so much to do. Mrs. Bradley wanted Riley and I to help coordinate the trip to the Black Wax Museum in Maryland." Leila said apologetically.

"She did?" Riley asked doubtfully causing Leila to slap his arm.

"Yes, she did. Don't you remember?"

"Oh, oh yeah. She did but you know what? Why don't you take over the tour, Steve?"

"That's a great idea. You can show him the new and improved art studio." Sam rolled his eyes as he picked up on what his friends were doing.

"Guys..."

"What? We gotta go." Leila said almost defensively.

"I don't mind showing you around." Steve said with a shrug.

"Perfect. Have fun." Leila said before dragging Riley off. Sam turned back to Steve who was smiling knowingly at him.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to jump you in a closet. I'm just going to show you the studio." Sam scoffed and shook his head.

"They're too much sometimes." Sam said.

"You known ‘em long?" Steve asked as they made their way down the hall.

"Since we were kids. I've been living in DC recently but decided to come back home. If only so my mom would stop begging me."

"Darlene's your mom, right?"

"Yeah, that's her."

"She's amazing. She was the one that made me start working here after my Ma died. She practically forced a paintbrush in my hand so I could make the pieces for the lobby. When she asked me to instruct half the art classes, I figured why not?"

"Those paintings out there are yours? They're really good. You could be selling them for thousands."

"One day maybe. I don't want to just do it for money though and I don't want all my pieces to be so insanely overpriced that my friends and family can't afford it, you know?" Sam nodded in understanding as they walked up to the art studio. It was a large and open room and there were canvasses, sculptures and paintings hung up and set in random places but there was also a certain organized chaos to the setting.

"We get anywhere from 10 to 40 kids at a time most days but we try to divide the interests by days. Carol handles the plastic arts, sculptures and ceramics, on Mondays and Wednesdays. I handle painting and sketching with different mediums on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We use charcoal, oil, pastel, watercolor, acrylic, airbrush if I think they can handle it, vinyl with their parents' permission. Sometimes we do photography as well but that's if Carol's girlfriend swings by to help. She's a professional photographer. She's a part of a program that lets the kids get their own cameras, kind of like with the band kids. We're not there yet, everything hasn't been hashed out. When it is, hopefully by the end of the year, they'll get to take their own cameras home with them." Sam looked around at the pieces. They were at varying levels of skill but they were all beautiful. He knew his father would love to be in this room and see all that the kids had done here. It was always his dream that they had a place where they could channel their creative and academic minds and they did. Sam just wished he was more involved in it and hadn't been wasting time in DC.

"This is really great. I can only imagine how much it's helping these kids, keeping them off the streets, giving them positive things to do with their time and talent."

"Well, they're all good kids. They just need for someone to tell them that sometimes." Sam nodded in agreement before looking up as voices entered the room. Three teenagers, two girls and a boy, walked in talking and laughing together.

"Hey, Mr. Rogers. Beautiful day in the neighborhood, right?" The boy said.

"That joke is as funny as it is every other day you say it, Miles." Steve retorted to the boy.

"I thought it was funny." Sam commented.

"That's probably because you don't have to hear it twice a week." A shorter black girl said, prompting the slightly older Middle-Eastern girl beside her to nod her head emphatically. The first girl reminded him of Sarah a little when she was younger with the twin afro puffs she sported held with red bobos, purple spectacles and a dinosaur t-shirt.

"Sam, this is Miles, Lunella and Kamala. They're students of mine and they're early."

"You know, one might say the rest of the class is just late." Kamala commented. Steve rolled his eyes and waved the kids off.

"I better get out of your hair, let you wrangle them. I guess we can do a rain check on the rest of the tour." Sam said to the shorter man. He smiled warmly at him.

"Yeah, we'll do that. It was nice meeting you Sam." Sam nodded in reply and left the room just as Miles made another Mr. Rogers joke. Sam shook his head. At least the community center was as fun as ever.

**~*~*~**

Sam's mother's house wasn't overly large. She owned the brownstone now, she managed to pay off the mortgage some years ago, but it wasn't a mansion by any means. Still, his mother always endeavored to cram a stadium's worth of people into the place for Sunday dinner. Somehow Sam had forgotten that over the years away and so he was slightly taken aback when he drove over after church only to see not only his brother and sister's families but at least half the neighborhood.

“Welcome back.” Mike, Sarah’s husband, said upon noticing Sam’s entrance.

"You look like you just walked into the middle of an impromptu burlesque show for dolphins." Gideon said upon noticing Sam's entry.

"I see your analogies haven't gained any sort of sense over the years, Deon."

"You expected anything different? We got all the brains." Sarah said, coming over with Jody on her hip and pressing a kiss to Sam's cheek. If nothing else, he enjoyed being close to his family again and he felt that especially as Deon and Sarah's kids ran around the corner screaming his name. He laughed as he was suddenly surrounded by five kids under the age of 10, all clamoring for his attention.

"Hey, y’all calm down. Stop acting like you don't have no home training." Darlene said, wading her way through the crowded house towards Sam. The children dispersed as she got near and pulled Sam into a hug.

"Hey there, baby. Oh, there's so many people here you gotta meet. Come on." Darlene pulled Sam after her. He looked back at his siblings for help but they were both laughing at him and would be no help. Sam let his mother parade him around, introducing him to all the guests of the house. She also happened to be chatting him up to quite a few people, enough to make Sam feel slightly out of his mind. Just as his mom was singing his praises to one of the daughters of her church friends, who looked extremely uncomfortable anyway, a familiar voice sounded behind him.

"Hey, Mrs. Wilson." Both Sam and Darlene turned to see Steve standing there with four other people. There was a brunette man with a redhead hanging on his arm on Steve's left and a tall woman sporting a blonde mohawk holding the hand of a blue-eyed Latina woman on his right. With Steve and his friends present along with Riley, this was probably the most White people Sam had ever seen in his mother's house for social reasons.

"Ah, I was wondering when y'all was going to show up. Sam, baby, this is Bucky, Natasha, Steve, Carol and Jessica. They volunteer at the Othello. This is my son, Sam. Y’all probably going to start seeing a lot more of him down at the center."

"So, you're Sam. Steve's told us a lot about you." The redhead woman, Natasha, said.

"Really?" Sam said dubiously as his mother said at the same time.

"You guys met before?" She had that look in her eye, that look she had any time she was getting ready to go on a matchmaking venture. He rolled his eyes in response.

"It's nice to meet all of you. I hope I see you all around the center. I'm going to go to the kitchen and make sure Sarah isn't burning anything." Sam nodded at all of them with a smile before retreating to the kitchen where Gideon's wife was standing over the stove rather than Sarah. He sighed heavily once he got there and leaned against one of the counters.

"That bad, huh?" Graciella asked, stirring the simmering sauce for the baked chicken.

"Other than Mama parading me around like something to buy off HLN?" Graciella chuckled to herself.

"Yeah, other than that."

"It's... it's just a lot. I'm not used to being in a place like this anymore. Small setting, lots of people. It's an adjustment."

"Darlene would probably run them all out if you asked."

"No, I need to get used to it again. It's a good dry run."

"You can hang out with me if you want, hermanito. I haven't finished the topping for the stuffed baked potatoes yet. We've got quite a lot of vegetarians here and once Darlene got over the indignity of it all, we found ways to make them some vegetarian dinner that didn't make her want to wallop them over the head for making her make two separate dinners." Graciella had started on the sour cream topping so Sam went over to the fridge and grabbed the green peppers, basil, tomatoes, celery and avocado and started dicing the various vegetables and fruits for the potatoes. He and Graciella worked mostly in comfortable silence, Sam garnishing the potatoes and Gracie glazing the chicken with the sauce she cooked. They would have continued this way if Sam's mom hadn't walked in the room just then.

"There you are, Sammy. I been looking all over for you, baby. Looks like you read my mind, I was just coming to help Gracie finish up in here. I can take over darling. You can go out there and mingle. Maybe talk to some people from the center, like Steve."

"Why _Steve_?"

"If you want to talk to Carol or Colleen go right on ahead, I'm not likely to stop you. I just thought you and Steven might get along is all."

"Are you conspiring with Riley and Leila? Because they seem to think the same thing."

"Occasionally those two have good ideas. A broken clock is right twice a day. Now go away, shoo. Stop holing yourself up in here and give Gracie some room to breathe." Sam rolled his as Gracie looked at him sympathetically and so Sam went back out to the packed living room. He didn't go specifically to Steve, instead he stuck with Riley and Leila where they stood with Luke and Claire and Sam got himself reacquainted with them. He learned they were married now with two boys, Carl and Lucas, who were running around somewhere in the house. Even though it'd been a while, he felt comfortable talking with the two couples. Almost like he'd never left. After that he ended up having a debate about basketball greats with Pop and Fish who came over from the barbershop. Pop kept looking like he wanted to say something to him but Sam couldn't figure out what it was for the life of him.

When dinner was served, everyone sat at the long oak table usually only reserved for holidays and somehow Sam found himself sitting next to Steve. He didn't particularly mind. Steve smiled at him and he was slightly dazzled by it but not enough to miss the looks shared between his mother, Riley and Leila and so Sam broke eye contact so they wouldn't get any ideas. He was not ready to move on. Not after Everett and well... he just wasn't ready. They all passed the food around the table until everyone's plate was as full as they wanted. The conversation was light and the atmosphere in the room was, overall, a convivial one. Sam had missed this, he missed being steeped in a communal setting. He got it on a smaller scale at the VA in DC, he made friends there, but for the most part his life there revolved around Everett which was probably why when they fell apart his entire world felt blasted to pieces. Maybe this was what he needed the most, being with these people even if they sometimes annoyed him.

**~*~*~**

Over the next month, Sam settled back into life in New York. He hadn't minded DC; he had grown to like it but there was something about New York. You could both hate and love this city, want to run and wish to be nowhere else, curse it and defend it in the same breath. This would always be home to him even when he didn't want it to be. Slotting himself back into this environment was too easy. His mother put him to work at the Othello doing paperwork and assisting random classes if there was a need. He still didn't have a firm schedule laid out but he felt better, lighter than he felt in a long time. He had barely spared Everett a thought in nearly a week. He, Leila and Riley were right back in the groove of things despite their romantic relationship and he hung out with Claire, Luke, Misty, Danny and Colleen a lot too since they lived in the neighborhood. He saw his mother and siblings almost every day now and the vets in the new groups he led at the VA were finally warming up enough to him to him to open up both privately and in group sessions. Things were looking up.

One day, he was sitting at a table in a small café near the VA on his lunch break when he heard his name being called. He looked up only to see Steve approaching him.

"Hey." Sam said, surprise clear in his voice. Steve must've picked up on it.

"I'm not usually around here, I was doing some work. I guess you were doing the same. You're over at the VA center, right?"

"Yeah. Lunch break." Sam explained.

"Can I?" Steve asked, gesturing to the seat across from Sam.

"Go ahead." Steve placed his mug on the coaster before dropping down across from him.

"What kind of work do you do around here?" Sam asked.

"I was meeting a client of mine, Tony Stark, over at the Dyker Beach Golf Course. He commissioned me to do some pieces for him, or his assistant did anyway. She's been curating their art collection for ten years or something like that."

"Tony Stark, huh? That's a pretty hefty client." Steve shrugged in response.

"I've worked with him before. He's just as obnoxious as he makes himself seem. Remember that if you ever have a lapse in judgement if given the opportunity to meet him."

"Noted. Can I see what you been working on?" Sam asked, sipping on his mug of hot chocolate. Steve fidgeted slightly, his fingernails scrapping at the cover of his sketchbook.

"It's okay if you don't want me to. I understand."

"No, it's just... it doesn't matter, here you go." Steve pushed his sketchbook over to Sam and despite his words he could see the nervousness swimming in his eyes. Sam wondered why his opinion mattered so much, Steve had to know he was talented even if Sam didn't like his pieces and he highly doubted that would be true.

As he cracked open the sketchbook, the thought was immediately confirmed. The first sketch was of Natasha. It was a side profile of her with a small smirk upon her lips. She wore a crown of thorny roses on her head. The drawing was mostly black and white but for her hair and lips, both shaded flaming red, her lips a slightly darker shade. The next drawing was her as well. She was gracefully dancing ballet while dressed in army fatigues. The first bit of Steve's sketchbook was much like that, sketches and drawing of his friends, including Bucky, Natasha, Carol and Jessica. A blonde woman Sam didn't recognize but figured was Steve's mother featured heavily and surprisingly so did Darlene. The next block of drawings were various landscapes and after that were animal themed sketches and random people, drawings of life in motion. A man feeding pigeons, an older couple strolling, a jogging woman, an arguing motorist and bicyclist, children playing on the swings. After that were drawings Sam figured were for Stark. It featured his robot body guard, the red and gold drone mech, in various forms or fashion.

"I'm telling you Steve, you're going to be in a textbook one day. Don't say I never told you so."

"I think you're tooting my horn just a little."

"I don't think you toot it enough." Sam said. There was silence and Sam looked up to see Steve staring indecisively.

"There are two ways I can respond to that but then again, I feel like that's too easy."

"God forbid your dick jokes not be quality dick jokes, if such a thing exists." Sam replied dubiously.

"They most certainly do, I'll show you some time." Sam rose an eyebrow at that and Steve blushed in response but didn't take it back.

"You keep blushing like that you're going to fall over. You already look like a gentle breeze could take you out."

"A strong wind at least." Steve protested, his cheeks still flaming hot. It struck Sam then that he was flirting with this guy and he didn't feel bad about it. Usually he'd already be thinking about Everett and The Incident by now and how that imploded and... well, now he was thinking about it.

"Um, I better get back. Lunch break's almost over. I'll see you at the Othello."

"Yeah, see you." Steve replied, sounding somewhat disappointed. Sam ignored it and the weird feeling growing inside of him and walked away.

**~*~*~**

"So, I heard you ran into Steve the other day near your job." Leila said as she, Sam and Riley sat at his mother's table for dinner.

"Is that right? There's a funny coincidence." Riley said. Sam rolled his eyes, Riley couldn't act to save his life. He didn't know why Leila let him talk.

"I don't believe in coincidences, must be fate." Darlene said with a smile.

"Or it was Leila who probably knew Steve was going to be meeting a client in the neighborhood and suggested a lunch spot where she knew Steve and I were likely to run into each other."

"You make me sound like some meddling witch." Leila commented around a bite of Darlene’s delicious roast chicken.

"You said it, not me."

"Samuel." Darlene said in reprimand.

"Why are you all hellbent on this? I barely know the guy."

"But you could and if you just got to know him, we know that this could be something great for you." Leila said.

"Honestly, I don't know why you're upset about this. I think you're just afraid to let yourself feel that way again and that's no way to live." Darlene added.

"I don't see you out there painting the town either, Mom." Sam snapped back. He immediately regretted it as his mother gave him a look. Leila and Riley didn't say anything, just sat very still waiting to see what Darlene's response would be. To Sam's surprise she didn't reach across the table and smack him for the blatant disrespect but instead she sighed.

"You're right. After your father, I had a very difficult time even entertaining the idea of moving on. Recently, that's changed."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, confusion alight on his face.

"I didn't want to tell you like this but I'm seeing someone." Sam's eyes widened at that.

"What do you mean you're seeing someone?"

"Just what I said. Pop and I—"

"Pop? From the barbershop?"

"I've been bringing Sarah and Gideon's boys down to him for the past couple years. Mike usually did it but back then his MS was harder to manage. I stepped in and took them in his place. Henry and I got closer and well...." Sam didn't even know how to respond to that. That was the last thing he was expecting to hear.

"So, I shut down for a few months and everyone starts hooking up with each other? Is that about accurate? I mean..." Sam trailed off with a humorless laugh.

"Baby—"

"No, you know what? I'm happy for you, Mom. You deserve this and if he makes you feel happy and safe then that's all that's important. As for me, I don't want or need to enter another relationship right now so please stop pushing it." Sam said, eyeing each person at the table individually until they all nodded in agreement.

"Good." Sam nodded to himself and went back to his dinner.

There was a voice prodding him in the back of his head. It said he was missing out on life because he was hung up on something that was completely out of his control and in no way his fault. He ignored it. He was ignoring himself more and more lately.

**~*~*~**

If there was one thing Sam was glad had changed a little in his time away, it was the Othello. It only improved since his absence and in it he saw the vision his father had: a place of escape, enlightenment and empowerment for the community.

At this point he had met all the volunteers, including the non-regulars, and knew much of the kids who frequented the center by name. He hung out multiple times with his co-workers at the center and found them to be good people. They were a close bunch and there was no unneeded drama which he appreciated. Everyone did their own thing when it came to their classes, they were given a sort of free reign as it were. He didn't bother questioning anyone's methods, even Danny who could be weird sometimes. Still, Sam was slightly confused as he heard rap music blaring from the art room. There wasn't supposed to be any art classes today, Carol had an emergency and it wasn't Steve's day, yet he could hear Public Enemy playing. He had flipped through Carol's iPod more than once and hadn't seen anything close to this kind of music featured and Steve didn't exactly strike him as a Public Enemy fan but then again, what did he know about him?

Well, he knew that Steve's favorite color was blue. He was a first generation American, his family being from Ireland. His favorite thing to eat in the whole world was apple pie. He was sick at least twice a week. He was a snarky ass and liked making jokes at his own expense. His hands should be insured for all the magic they could create whether it be sketching and painting or sculpting on the rare occasion. But Sam didn't know him, that was all information gleaned through group conversations and pictures of Steve's art work on Carol's cell phone. He didn't know him.

Maybe he was being unfair about it. He'd been alone at least three times with everyone else but after running into Steve in the café he endeavored not to be alone with him again. Perhaps that was too over the top. Sam shook his head as he came to a decision and approached the art studio. He could make out the lyrics of '911 is a joke' as he got closer. He peeked in through the window once he arrived to the room. Steve was there with his students who were all engrossed with sketching on pieces of paper in front of them under Steve's supervision. The only sound in the room was the music. Sam perked up as Steve turned and noticed him there before making his way towards the door.

"Hey, do you need something?" Steve asked.

"No, I just heard the music and I was curious."

"Once a month I do these speed art sessions with the kids. They sketch whatever comes to mind as they listen to a song that one of them brings in. Lonnie brought this one in. I don't know if you heard what happened to him.”

“No.”

“The police questioned him the other day, said he matched the description of some suspect in a robbery."

"Don't we always?" Sam replied sarcastically.

"Well, things got physical. The officer punched him a few times before another officer came in and stopped him."

"What?" Sam asked incredulously but it wasn’t that hard to believe.

"Lon's mother is a lawyer. She'll make sure they pay all they're worth for it but he's still upset and the other kids were too. I can't imagine what that's like but I didn't want them to do anything irrational so I called them here. Thankfully they all came. If this center didn't exist, I don't know what would happen to half of them."

"You care a lot about them." Sam observed.

"Of course I do, they're my kids. I mean, they're my students. It's my job to protect them and nurture them as best I can. I don't think you should get a day off from that, especially when something like this happens, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. That's exactly why my father built this place actually."

"He must've been a really great man. I wish I could've met him." Sam smiled sadly.

"I wish you could've too." He was silent for a moment before he spoke again.

"Hey, you think maybe I could sit in with you guys? If any of them need to talk I can help."

"I think that would probably be a really good idea." Sam followed Steve into the room just as the song switched off.

"Alright guys, you can put your pencils down now. Let's take a few breaths before we start sharing. Mr. Wilson is going to sit in and help us today. Lonnie, would you mind going first?"

"That's alright, I guess. I drew this. It's my mom crying. After what happened the other day, later that night I found her crying in the kitchen talking to my grandmother. They were talking about how when my uncle got shot a few years back they spent three hours waiting for the police to come and they never did, he ended up bleeding out in the taxi they took to drive him to the hospital. My cousin got shot because they thought he had a gun and he didn’t. Now you can't walk down the street without them harassing you for something you ain't even do. So I brought that song in."

"Why didn't you draw yourself in the picture?" Sam asked, glancing at Steve to see if that was okay.

"’Cause I don't feel there's nothing I can do about it. My mom's crying by herself and I can't fix what's wrong with her."

"Sometimes it's not about fixing people. There's going to be times in your life when you're faced with an obstacle that's bigger than yourself and is hurting the people around you. Even if you feel like you can't do anything to push that obstacle out of the way, you can still be there for the ones you love. Like I said, you don't have to fix her. You didn't break her in the first place. Sometimes you just have to listen and be there. That's a good place to start."

"Yeah, I guess." They kept going that way. Steve's students would share what they drew and Sam and Steve would give what advice they could to help these kids start healing, if only a little bit.

"This was really good, what you did here." Steve said as he and Sam collected the students’ papers and went about cleaning up the room.

"Well, it's my job."

"No, your job is counselling war veterans, not teenagers. They don't look as heavy as they did when they first got here so thank you."

"What they're going through now I went through when I was a kid. It's sad to say that not much has changed but at least I can help them get past this. And you're doing a pretty good job with them too. Some people would've just ignored that this happened. Facing it would make them feel too uncomfortable. I think they appreciate that you didn't sweep it under the rug and that you're listening to them, even if you can't fully understand. Sometimes all people really need is to be heard." Steve nodded as they placed the papers in the back with the rest of the artwork and placed the chairs on the table so the room could be swept later.

"I better get going. If Leila sees me here, she might yell at me for showing up on my day off. Thanks again for your help Sam." Steve said, pulling on his jacket and throwing his messenger bag over his shoulder. It almost dragged Steve's small frame down. Sam watched him walk a few feet before he stopped him.

"Hey, do you want to get a drink?" Steve turned back to him with an indecisive look on his face.

"I thought you were avoiding me."

"I wasn't... I mean, I was but it wasn't anything you did. It was Leila and Riley and my mother driving me crazy trying to push me to ask you out on a date."

"And now what are you doing?"

"I'm... look, I just got out of a relationship. I was engaged and, well, now I'm not. I'm not ready to be with someone else right now but I would really like to hang out with you and get a drink. We could... be friends." Steve looked down as if contemplating this before he looked up with a smile.

"A drink would be really nice."

**~*~*~**

Everything is going well, Sam thinks.

Yeah, coming back home was a little rough. The changes have been something he's had to get used to but he did and now he has something of a schedule down pact. On Sundays, he's at his mother's place for Sunday dinner along with all the people she can cram in there. Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays he works at the VA. Mondays and Wednesdays have also been designated as his days at the Othello. He now runs his own Health and Sex-Ed classes. He teaches the kids about consent, contraception and STD prevention and emphasizes birth control and safe sex over abstinence. He also teaches them about mental health and depression and ways they can manage the disorder. On Thursdays, he has dinner at his mother's place again. Sarah, Michael, Gideon and Graciella are usually there along with the kids. His mother has recently taken to inviting Pop over too and with multiple meetings Sam has warmed to the idea of his mother finding love again even if seeing her kiss this man is still weird for him. He hangs out with Leila and Riley whenever he can but on Fridays they always either go out or stay in together. If they do go out, sometimes the gang from the Othello will join them. He has been getting closer to everyone and he enjoys their company more than he thought he would. The strangest thing though is that somehow his Saturdays have ended up being devoted to Steve.

Sam isn't even sure how it happened. They went and got that drink, they talked and laughed and got to know each other. They exchanged numbers and somehow they ended up meeting again the next Saturday to get lunch together. The next Saturday they went to the movies. The one after that they hit Times Square since Steve miraculously got tickets to _Hamilton_. Another week and they were at the amusement park at Coney Island. The week after that they took his art kids to the MoMA. And then, and then, and then...

Before he knew it, three and a half months had past and he spent every Saturday of it with Steve.

"Are you two dating or not?" Leila demanded one Friday as she sat curled up between him and Riley in her apartment. It was October now and there was a _Child's Play_ marathon that they were watching. They were on _Seed of Chucky_ and despite the campiness and sheer ridiculousness of it all, the three of them loved it. Sam was actually paying attention to the movie. It was up to the part where Jennifer Tilly was having a dinner date with Redman who was about to be disemboweled by Tiffany.

"Honestly, this is getting ridiculous." Leila continued.

"If you didn't want to watch this movie, you shouldn't have started the marathon with us. You knew what you were getting into." Sam replied, completely ignoring her question.

"Come on, Sam. You and Steve have been inseparable lately. You've been going out together, just the two of you, for three months now. He's always giving you the googly eyes and his students swear he gushes about you all the time and blushes whenever they mention you. Kamala said the whole class "totally ships you guys" whatever that means. They think you two are going to end up getting married by New Year’s." Riley said.

"We're not dating so that's not very likely." Sam said.

"Come on, Riley and I need more double dating options. When we’re out, Claire and Luke spend half the time calling their babysitter. Misty and Danny argue. Carol and Jessica make out. Helen's husband doesn't speak English and we don't like leaving him out of conversations. Colleen's girlfriend doesn't like us. Bucky and Natasha are... they're just friggin' weird. I don't want to sit with them alone for an extended period of time. You need to lock Steve's ass down so we can get somewhere." Leila practically pleaded.

"Guys—"

"I know, I know. You're not ready but when are you going to be? It's been almost a year now and the only person who I've seen you even bat an eye at is Steve. That's not nothing."

"Lei." Riley said, calming her down as he saw Sam's defenses coming up.

"We don't want to push you or force you into something you're not ready for. You've trusted us to tell you what you need to hear in the past even if you haven't wanted to hear it. Trust us to be speaking now with your best interests at heart. We don't want you to be stuck on someone else and miss something great in front of you. We can tell you how you feel about Steve until the cows come home but until you allow yourself to accept it they'll be empty words." Riley said. Sam stared at his friend silently until Leila broke it.

"You're so hot when you get wise. It doesn't happen often but when it does... ooh, I get shivers. You're so getting laid tonight." Riley beamed brightly as Sam shook his head and groaned in disgust.

"I do not want to think about you two having sex."

"You can join us if you want since you're not doing anything with Steve." Leila replied.

"These shoulders are equal opportunity shoulders." Riley added.

"I hate you guys sometimes." Sam replied around a chuckled.

"Aww, we love you too." They said.

Sam turned his attention back to the television but his mind kept going back to what Riley said and the next day when he and Steve were hanging out at Gym’s Sportsbar in Chelsea, Riley's words kept him distracted. He looked up as Steve's fingers brushed against his hand.

"Hey. You still here?"

"Yeah. I'm just thinking."

"Need help?"

"I don't know if you can help me. It's about you."

"Nothing bad, I hope." Steve said, chuckling nervously.

"I... Riley said—" Sam was cut off as someone in the bar called his name. He turned around and felt his eyes widen as he saw who was approaching them.

"Everett?"

"Hey Sammy." The man said as if his presence here shouldn't have been a complete shock to Sam. Sam stared at him silently shell-shocked.

"Sam?" Steve asked quietly beside him. Sam glanced at him and then back at Everett before shaking his head.

"I need to go."

"Sammy, wait."

"Sam, don't—"

"I need to go." Sam repeated, pushing his way through the crowds of people in the bar until he could make his way outside and have some space to breath. He could hear two sets of footsteps coming up behind him but he didn't bother looking back. He didn't want to see Steve and Everett standing next to each other, these two parts of his present and past colliding in a way they never should've. He started walking down the street but was stopped as Everett grabbed his arm and turned him around.

"Wait, Sammy please." Sam felt anger replacing the fear that sent him fleeing outside as he stared at this man, this man who had his heart and destroyed it.

"Stop calling me that, you know I hate being called Sammy." He snapped at him. Everett raised his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay just... can I talk to you at least?"

"About what? What is there to talk about between us anymore?"

"I haven't seen you in months. Keisha told me you came back to New York. I wasn't going to come at first but I wanted to see you." He explained.

"Well, now you see me. What do you want?"

"You look good." He commented. Sam scoffed at that. Everett hadn't changed at all really. He was a few inches taller than Sam was and had about ten pounds of muscle on him. He always looked impeccable, never had a stitch out of place or a rumple in his clothes. He kept his hair to a low buzzcut. His umber skin was always clear and smooth. His deep brown eyes were always soulful and deep enough to fall into. Sam hated everything about him right now.

"How would Rock or whatever the hell his name was feel about you saying that?"

"It was Stone and he's... he's not a factor anymore."

"Yeah? Funny how that works, isn't it?"

"He doesn't matter to me, he never did. Not as much as you do. I fucked up. I didn't appreciate the great guy I had. I miss you, Sam. I miss coming home to you. I miss getting to hear about your day and doing all the stupid touristy things in DC together. Remember Ford's theater? We went to see _Ragtime_ and then we walked through National Park and I proposed under a bird's nest. Then the mother bird immediately attacked us after you said yes. We laughed about it for days. I want that back. We can get that back." Everett had always been able to charm the pants off anyone. If they got into spats or fights, Sam was usually the first to forgive after just a few words from the other man. That was before Stone.

"Are you serious? Do you really think I'm that easy? You thought you'd come here and say a few pretty words, none of which were an apology by the way, and what? I would fall desperately into your arms and ask you to take me back to DC where we'd get married and live happily ever after? Are you fucking serious?"

"Sammy—"

"That bird was obviously a sign or a warning from God because I was an idiot to not see who you really were. All I heard you say just now is that you're lonely. If I had to guess, it's probably because you did the same thing you did to me to Stone and he left you. And because I've always let you get away with shit in the past, you thought you'd fall back into it with your old guy. Let me be clear about this so you understand: I'd sell _both_ my kidneys on the black market before I'd _ever_ go back to you. _Ever_."

"Sam." Steve called. Sam glanced past Everett where Steve had been silently observing the two of them a few feet away.

"Let's go." Steve said, holding a hand out. Before Sam could walk towards him Everett wheeled around on Steve.

"Who the hell are you anyway, twink?" Sam pushed past the taller man, knocking him roughly in the shoulder in the process.

"His name isn't twink, it's Steve. Not that it's any of your concern who he is." Everett chuckled suddenly.

"You gotta be kidding me with this, Sam. Look at this twig. What are you even doing with him? He's pathetic to look at. You remember you're a bottom, right? How's that going to work between the two of you?"

"It's none of your damn business how it works. Steve's a better man than you ever were. He wouldn't hurt me the way you did."

"He might not but he can't protect you. Come on, Sammy."

"He said he doesn't like that name. And as for whether or not I can protect him, you wanna bet?" Steve said, walking closer to the pair. His stride was threatening but Everett didn't seem bothered by it.

"Do I wanna bet that I can beat your ass for screwing with my guy? Uh, yeah I kinda do."

"Let's go then if you're so tough." Steve replied, clenching his fists.

"I am not your guy anymore and you two are not fighting. Steve, let's just go before the owner comes out here."

"You should listen to him, _Steve_. You're not ready for this. Call me when you're done playing games with this kid, Sammy. I'll remind you how a real man puts it down." Everett said, reaching out and caressing Sam's cheek with his finger causing Sam to flinch.

"Don't touch him!" Steve exclaimed.

"What are you going to do about it, short stop?" Sam felt complete shock come over him as Steve lunged at Everett and caught him with a solid right hook. Everett's head snapped to the side but he recovered quickly and soon the two of them were trading fists with each other. Steve ducked out of the way of Everett's punches where he could but the punches that did land were powerful ones.

Sam snapped out of his shock and immediately ran towards the two of them.

"Stop it! You guys, stop fighting!" He shouted at them as they drew an excited crowd.

Everett managed to get Steve on the ground and Sam swooped in trying to pull him off. He felt the wind get knocked out of him as Everett absentmindedly threw an elbow back to get Sam off. The bone landed in Sam's stomach and sent him stumbling back, clutching his stomach in pain as he tripped and fell to the floor.

"Sam!" Steve called, he slipped out from under Everett's hands and made a beeline for him. His arms fluttered around him worriedly as if he could detect the source of Sam's pain that way.

"I'm fine. I just got the wind knocked out me is all." Sam said through a strained voice. Steve helped him to stand to his feet.

"Sammy, I didn't mean to do that. You know I'd never put my hands on you." Everett said, standing up as well.

"I don't know who you are anymore and I don't want to know. I'm done. Just leave me alone, go back to DC. I don't want to see you again." Sam replied, clutching Steve to his side as they began making their way down the block from the bar before they attracted unwanted attention from management or police officers.

They stumbled and limped their way to the train station and by the time they got on the train Sam was feeling somewhat normal beside the soreness in his side. He figured he would form a bruise and be no worse for wear. Steve on the other hand looked like the whole right side of his face would be a swollen bruise. Sam couldn't help feeling guilty about it.

They sat silently through the train ride to Sam's apartment seeing as how it was closer than Steve's. Sam wanted to get some ice on his face as soon as possible. Steve had been to Sam's apartment before so there was no reason to be anxious but all the same Sam felt jittery and high strung as he wrapped an ice pack in a towel and pressed it to Steve's face.

"I'm sorry about this." Sam said as he laid some frozen mixed vegetables on Steve's knuckles.

"About what?"

"Everett just showing up like that. I didn't know he was in town, I don't even know how he found us."

"Facebook probably. That last picture we took was geo-tagged."

"Asshole." Sam cursed, rolling his eyes at the thought of his ex.

"He is definitely that. At least I can see why now."

"Why what?"

"Why you're afraid to enter another relationship after him." Sam paused in his ministrations and glanced up at Steve who was staring at him dead on.

"I'm not afraid, I'm just... I... After I was discharged, I was messed up pretty bad. You see things over there and then you have to come back and live like they never happened. I couldn't do it. I started going to the VA. I met Everett there. He didn't stick around for meetings but we exchanged numbers, figured we could sponsor each other. We were friends. One thing led to another and then boom, we were together. He got a job opportunity in DC and I followed him. I dropped everything for him. He proposed to me and I said yes. I was planning for a wedding that wouldn't happen for five months and then one day I decided to go home for my lunch break, I had left some of my files at home and I figured I could grab lunch with Everett anyway. We could talk about the wedding. I found him there with some guy naked on the couch. I found out later he had been sleeping with him for a year. He was with him when he proposed to me. He was going to marry me and keep this guy on the side. I was... destroyed by it. I didn't pick myself up for a long while but when I did I promised myself I wasn't going to be anyone else's fool."

"I get that. You want to protect yourself. You're not wrong for that. But you have to know that I'm not Everett. You know that, right?" Steve asked, staring into Sam's eyes imploringly. Sam couldn't formulate an answer while staring into his eyes. He stood up and walked a few feet away from Steve, wrapping his arms around his waist as if to keep himself together.

"You said I was a better man than he ever was. Do you believe that or were you just saying it to get at him?" Steve's voice was full of hurt and Sam couldn't help but turn around to face him, even though he kept his distance.

"Of course I mean it, Steve. I know you're not Everett but you're still... you're still _something_. And, okay, maybe you're right. Maybe everyone’s right. I am afraid. I don't know how to let myself... I can't... I see my mom with Pops and Leila and Riley together and my sister and brother with their families and I wonder why I can't have it. Then I remember what happened last time and I can't do that. I can't go through that again." Steve stood up from the couch then and approached him, stopping a couple feet in front of him.

"I swear I would never hurt you, Sam." Steve sounded so sincere and Sam wanted to believe him, but...

"People always say that and then they hurt you. You can't promise me that." Steve stared at him wearily and Sam thought he might've decided to stop pushing it but he should've known better. He watched Steve take a deep breath and then hold his head high, his eyes blazing with determination.

"You're right. I can't promise never to hurt you. But I can promise I'll never hurt you the way he did." Steve said, taking a few steps closer to him.

"I can promise to be careful with you. I can promise to protect you." He was even closer now, close enough for Sam to feel his body heat.

"I can promise to listen to you and watch all the horrible campy movies you want me to. And even though I know the stereotypes about me, I'm a hell of a top. I can promise to make sure you don’t walk right for two days straight." A wet chuckle left Sam's lips before he could stop it. He looked away from Steve as his eyes began to fill with moisture. Steve's rough yet gentle hand found its way to Sam's chin and turned his head back towards him, pulling him down slightly so he was eye level with Steve.

"I can promise to cherish you. I can promise to be there for as long as you want me."

"Steve..." Sam trailed off. He didn't even know what to say. His heart was pounding in his chest and his mouth felt dry.

"Just give me a chance. That's all. Just a chance. I can be so good to you. I can take care of you." Sam breathed out harshly, trying to contain the sobs that wanted to rip from his chest. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Steve. He wanted to be happy and a large part of that was Steve. It was just a matter of whether he would let his fear continue to dictate his actions.

Seeing Everett shook something loose in him. Getting to say everything that had been building up for so long had taken a weight off him. It felt like a boulder had been removed from his path but he had gotten so used to struggling to climb up and over the damn thing that he could scarcely believe that it was just gone. But there was a path laid out in front of him. Steve was right here. Sam let his head drop forward so his forehead was pressed to Steve's.

"Sam?" Steve asked, his voice full of hope.

"Yes." Sam replied. They didn't need to say anything more, they understood each other perfectly. Steve heaved a sigh of relief at Sam's affirmative answer.

"Can I?"

"Yeah. Yes. Please." Steve's cold, slender fingers came up and caressed Sam's cheek, softly scratching at the hair on his chin. Sam's hand dropped to Steve's waist and pulled him closer just as their heads tilted and met in a kiss. It was soft, tender and chaste in nature. Yet it was deep and breathtaking all the same. Sam felt every doubt he was holding on to slip away as Steve pulled him closer and kept pressing kisses to his lips. He kissed the doubts away one by one until there was nothing left but them and Sam didn't want to think about anything else anyway.

**~*~*~**

Darlene Wilson's house was just as packed as ever. Sam shouldn't be surprised but he and Steve had spent much of Sunday holed up in Sam's apartment. They talked about the logistics of their relationship for a little while and mostly spent the rest of the time kissing and watching Sam's crappy movies. Sam felt slightly apprehensive as he parked in front of the house later on that day. He felt like everyone could take one look at his face and know he was different. On the flip side, he felt ridiculous for fearing their reactions. It's not like he got back together with Everett, this was Steve. They had all been pushing him towards him anyway. Maybe he just didn't want to give them the smug satisfaction of being right.

"Hey." Sam turned as Steve rested a hand on his arm. He gave him a gentle understanding smile.

"We don't have to make some grand announcement, you know. Our relationship is our business, doesn't have to be anyone else's."

"I know. I'm not ashamed of you or us. I guess I'm just nervous."

"I'm right here. I'm gonna be here the whole time." Steve said reassuringly, squeezing his arm.

"I know." Sam replied. They exited the car and walked into his mother's place hand in hand.

By the end of the night, Steve and Sam had each gotten the shovel talk at least five times and they were booked for double dates with both Leila and Riley and Bucky and Natasha. Steve remained by his side and he didn't think about Everett for the whole night.


End file.
